Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Things Heather Hate...

I did this several years ago on my previous blog. You know, the one blogger decided to no longer let me log in to? Well, I'm doing it again because it's that kinda day. But this time, a special treat: I'm also going to explain why Heather hate these things! Hold on to your rears!

Things Heather Hate...(in no particular order)
  • purple crayons- Isn't it obvious?! Over the past five years, I have had crayons melt in my car on three different occasions: two on the seat and one on the floor- all PURPLE!!! Five years ago, I dried a PURPLE crayon in a load of white laundry. Now, this was not just any white laundry, it was our *nice* white laundry. All of Brandon's dress khakis were ruined, as were my khakis and white dress clothes. Interesting note: when I picked through the remains to find from where the purple crayon had come, there it was- a huge purple wax spot on the pocket of one of my husband's dress pants. If you know Brandon, you know I'm not kidding. Anyway, I am convinced that purple crayons hate me and are out to get me! I have nothing against the color purple, just purple crayons. It's self defense really.
  • goals- The only thing goals do is set you up for disappointment. In my opinion, the only thing worse than goals is someone requiring you to think about and write down your goals, like teachers, professors, or your husband at the start of a new year! UGH!
  • P.E. (or anything that even remotely resembles P.E.)- Physical activity is awful in general, but when someone makes you do it, it reaches a whole new level of horrible. That's all I've got to say about that.
  • Rude People- Lots of people fall into this category: people who lie, people who cheat, people who cut in line, people who push, people who cut you off in traffic, people who cuss in front of children, people who smack their food, people who speed in residential areas, people who mow their grass way too early in the morning, people who act like no one but themselves exist, people who are habitually late, people who take and take without ever giving, hmmm...maybe I should change this one to just "people"?
  • Hurricanes- You really probably don't understand this one unless you live on the Gulf Coast. If you live on the Gulf Coast, you're thinking "duh!" Well, hurricanes blow (literally and figuratively).
  • Lack of Electricity- see above. It's hot during hurricane season!
  • Fantasy Football- I haven't decided if it's actually that Heather hate fantasy football or that Heather hate Brandon playing fantasy football. I think it's a little of both. Fantasy football requires you to give up team loyalty and cheer instead for individual players and I don't like that, at all! Brandon spends all his time recruiting, trading, benching, scoring, watching, etc. said players during this time and I don't like that either!
  • Geckos- Not all geckos are bad. Just the ones that found their way to SW Louisiana around 1999 (they came in through the port from Italy, I've done my research!). You know the ones. They hang out, during the warm months, around your doors just waiting to jump on you or in your hair. They are see through (YUCK!) and have no eyelids (DOUBLE YUCK!). I am convinced that they are some sort of demons.
  • Messes- Alright, on this one, I'll admit I have a problem! I cannot stand a mess! I was not always like this, this is one that manifested itself in the past five years. My poor kids don't know what it's like to really get dirty. Thankfully they are in school now where they can experience things like painting and crafts without me around making a disgusted face and hyperventilating. I love things that are neat and clean :) ahhh!
  • Bad Spellers- I was born with the God given talent of spelling. However, I can appreciate the fact that not everyone was given such a gift, but with the invention of "spell check" you are without excuse, bad spellers! S-P-E-L-L C-H-E-C-K! (Maybe I should add this one to "people"?)
  • Here you can add things that everyone says they hate, like sin, hate (I always find this one ironic!), war, famine, poverty, sickness, etc. I hate those things too. I just think they're a little boring. Hold your fire! I'm kidding!

Well, I think that's all for now. I reserve the right to add to this list as I see fit. So, watch yourself!


Ashley said...

I'm kinda scared of you now, especially because you put people who are always late. However, I noticed that flighty people did not make the list-phew!

Scott said...

I hate when you wake up 5-10 minutes before the alarm goes off! What are you supposed to do? Wake up? Go back to sleep? Not a good way to start the day.

Sara said...

i love how creepy carwly things always hop in your hair!! haha