Family/Surrogacy Pictures

We got together with Dawn and her family last weekend to take some pictures. My dear friend Rachel manned (womanned?) the camera and we got some great shots. Dawn is 34 weeks pregnant in these...

The above picture is all the kids, Dawn's and mine, hands on her ever growing belly. I love it. It reminds me of all the love it took to get here and how this really has been a joint effort between two families. Surrogacy, specifically Dawn, has blessed me more than I could ever put into words. I am looking forward to holding our sweet boy in the next few weeks and seeing the joy on both our families' faces when each of us sees him for the first time. He is one fortunate little guy to have so many people love him already!

Halloween '09

Saturday, we headed to our dear friends', Rachel and Tony's, for what is becoming our Halloween tradition. We meet for dinner, trick-or-treating, and then Rachel and I set up for what our church lovingly calls the "after party". Our church does our October outreach on Halloween night. Three or four families volunteer to have large bounce houses set up in front of their homes during trick-or-treat hours and as kids come to bounce and get candy, members or our church give their parents pamphlets telling them about us. Rachel decided last year that she would invite all of the church over to their home afterwards for a party and I volunteered to help her get ready. It's a great time. This year her girls were a princess and a vampiress (?). My Blaine was a ninja and Aubrey was Dorothy from the "Wizard of Oz". One other friend from church, a witch, came by to trick-or-treat with the kids and they were off. Everyone had a great time (even though early on Blaine fell and busted up most of the movable joints on his body. One day that boy will learn that he's too clumsy to run!). Rachel, being the smart person she is, snapped this picture. I'm a horrible mom and took none. I don't normally think that Aubrey and Blaine look alike, but in this picture, I think they do. I cannot wait to see who Abram looks like in four short weeks!

Still Here...

We made attempt #2 at seeing Abram's face. Nope, he was not having it. I guess he wants to save some mystery for the big day. Ultrasound estimated his weight to be 3lb 7oz at 30 weeks, so he's a big boy :) and everything looks great. Now, we patiently wait.

With just under 6 weeks left, I'm busy with getting everything where it needs to be for his arrival. It's been a long time since there has been a baby in our family and

I'm kinda nervous.

On the pumping front, I am now up to 2-4oz a day-most days, sometimes it's less, but I'm hopeful that my supply will increase soon. I have 44oz in the freezer and am so looking forward to nursing.

Here are a couple pictures Dawn and I took a couple of weeks ago, at 30 weeks:

Isn't she just the cutest? :)

Abram's 3D

We attempted a 3D/4D ultrasound. Just as I feared, Abram was not very cooperative. He has his head buried in Dawn's right hip, his hands up at his face, and his umbilical cord in his face and all around. We go back this Friday to try again at some better pictures. Here is the one good one we got. You can see his sweet face and his cord up at his neck (not sure if it's around his neck, but it's not tight, thankfully. We'll be talking to the doctor about it.)

We go on the 12th for a growth scan and to get all the paperwork at the hospital done. Then, we have an appointment on the 14th to go over it all. Dawn is consistently measuring a week ahead and even the ultrasound tech at the 3D/4D place commented on how small Dawn is, but how big Abram is. It's clear he's already got chubby arms, cheeks, and tummy. So, we're eager to see what the growth scan shows and what they say about the cord.

As for inducing lactation, it's going well. I'm making about an ounce a day now. It may not seem like much, but to me, it's incredible! I've got 8 weeks to build up my supply and so far, I'm impressed with my body.

I cannot wait to meet my little boy! (I bet you knew that :)

Busy With Great Things

The above is a picture of Dawn (l), Rachel (r), and me (center) at the baby shower they threw for me last weekend. It was wonderful. Not only did we get lots of things we needed (it's been 8 long years since we've had a baby and had zero, zilch, nada), it was also a wonderful time of fellowship. I am forever grateful for all their hard work-plus, Kelly, who was sick :( It is such a great feeling to know that people like you enough to do something like this for you!

Also, I've been pumping for 11 days now. I pump every 2 hours during the day and every 3 hours at night. So, needless to say, I'm exhausted. I know it will be worth it and I cannot wait to breastfeed my sweet baby boy in 9 short weeks, but this is hard work!

We have a 3D/4D ultrasound this Saturday. I'll be sure to post lots of pictures. Until then...

An Open Letter to Abram

Dear Abram: my sweet, sweet boy,

We are knocking on the door of 27 weeks pregnant. I have been struggling these past couple of weeks. Struggling with how to put into words all I am feeling at this time and what you mean to me. Everyday we're closer to holding you and kissing that sweet head of yours...it's unbelievable. The fact that I could love you, with every fiber of my being, having never touched you or even felt you move inside of me, is mind blowing. You, before you were even conceived, were loved and ours. The whole thing is something that is difficult for anyone who hasn't been here to understand.

Some days it gets to me- the fact that I don't know you. I wish it were possible for me to know your in utero personality, to feel you kick from the inside, to know that you know me, but it's not. And, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the second best thing to that, is living it through your Aunt Dawn. She tells me all about you and how you love to wiggle inside, how you don't let her sleep at night, and how she already knows you are the sweetest baby there is :) God brought us the absolutely perfect person to bring you into this world. She has helped me through this in ways that no one, but her, to a certain point, and I will ever "get" and she loves you so much! I am so thankful that I can sit back and trust that she is taking care of you in just the way I would, if it were me.

As we count down the days, your brother and sister wait so eagerly for you! They are overjoyed with having a new baby brother and I know they will cherish you. I cannot wait for the moment I get to introduce you to them!

The longing I feel is really indescribable. I dream of you every night, and have for 3+ years. I ponder what you'll be like, what you'll look like, what you'll smell like. I cannot wait for it all to become reality and I want to cherish every second. I know now that parenting is not about just getting by, one day at a time. It is about enjoying your child and recognizing what a privilege it is to watch them grow. I plan on doing that with you. So, until we meet in 75 short, but so long, days, I'll see you in my dreams and watch and feel your Aunt Dawn's tummy move every chance I get. I love you dear boy!

Your Mom

Doing Much Better...

Well, it seems that I finally beat the infection! WHOO!! HOO!! I'm feeling much better and have even gotten back on the low carb wagon. I have two weeks, from today, until I start my pumping regimen for inducing lactation and I'm hoping to be to my goal weight by then (no dieting while nursing for me).

Yep, I don't know if I have mentioned it before, but I am going to breastfeed. During the three years I longed for another child, in every dream I had of him, I was nursing. I did not even know if it was possible so, when we decided to go forward with surrogacy, I began to research. I am on a drug regimen of hormones, vitamins, and a digestive drug whose side effect is production of prolactin (one of the hormones that stimulates milk production for which they do not make a synthetic form). Two weeks from today, I will stop the hormones and replace them with two different herbs, and begin pumping. The idea is to have my supply built up enough that when the baby arrives, I am able to exclusively nurse. I am so hopeful that will be the case and I really can't wait! Pumping will be hard, especially since I'll be pumping at least once during the night, but I know it will be worth it. I'll keep you posted :)