Thursday, September 25, 2008

An Attempt to Catch Up

Today is the kids first day back at school since being out two weeks due to Ike. I thought I would attempt to catch everyone up on this blog since, well, I can't do much else. This may be a little long.

As far as hurricane recovery, everything is trying to get back to normal, but it will take a while. Not all schools, even in our district, were able to go back today. A lot of people still don't have power (I feel for those poor souls) and even worse, a lot of people don't have homes. My dear friend, Dawn, took a huge hit and I am constantly thinking of her, her hubby, and their five children. I want to help them so badly, I just have to figure out how.

As far as Posterior Lumbar Interbody Fusion (that's the clinical name and my attempt at humor), it's going. Everyone who has seen me says "You're so much further than I thought you would be at this point!" To me, it feels so slow. I guess I'll back up a little. Surgery itself went well. There were a couple of problems with my low blood pressure and that had to be treated in the operating room, but other than that I did well. I came out with a seven inch incision directly on my spine, an epidural, and three drains coming from the area. I had some difficulty with vomiting for the first day, but after that I did great. Ike was looming out in the Gulf so after some begging, my doctor decided to release me one day early to be home for the storm. I really did not want to have to be downtown in a hospital, as safe as it is, without my husband and children during a hurricane. The hurricane itself was scary. They always are, but we made it through with very minimal damage (I'll post pictures of all sorts of stuff at some point). Since I've been home, I am to wear my brace (which is actually a body molded cast that can come off for things like showering and sleeping) anytime I'm up. It's hot (especially when there was no A/C) and bulky. I don't like it. I can walk, but I'm incredibly slow. So slow that I feel like a burden and hindrance to anyone around me. I can sit, but it is SO difficult to get up and down, it's pretty much not worth it. I have a very specific routine I am to use to get in and out of bed so as not to twist my spine at all. It's difficult and exhausting. I can lay on my back, which is comfortable for a little while, or my sides, which really aren't comfortable because of the pain from the bone graft from my pelvis so, I'm having trouble sleeping. I can't do pretty much anything around the house since I can't bend or twist in any way, but I can't really reach forward very far either. Just washing my hands stretches my limits. I'm incredibly emotional. I sobbed Sunday (in front of a lot of people) over milk. Not even spilt milk, actual contained gallons of milk that were brought to us by our Pastor's wife. We needed milk, she responded as so many people in our church have with various things. Our church rocks and I am so humbled by the way people are willing to help us! I knew all these things would be "things", but one thing I've learned is that it's impossible to prepare yourself for being physically disabled in any way for any amount of time. I want to clean my house, I can't. I want to shave my legs, I can't. I want to take a shower alone, I can't. I want a long, hot bath, I can't. I want to do a lot of things, simple things, that I just can't. I know these things will come and there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel, it's just hard right now. It's only been two weeks and I am so tired of feeling like a burden to those I love. Just 5 1/2 months longer, at least. Not sure how I'm going to do it, but I am sure that my God will get me through it. I'm clinging to that...

*If you visit, please leave me a comment. I have no idea who looks at this and I think I'd write it even if it was just for me to "vent", but I would like to know that someone other than me is reading and notes of encouragement really do help!

1 comment:

Royce said...

I do read it Momma B! It's rough...I can only imagine! But as you know, God doesn't give you a task you can't handle!

As far as the unshaven legs...think of it this way: It's you're chance to be all chic and be 'French'! :-)