Still Here...

We made attempt #2 at seeing Abram's face. Nope, he was not having it. I guess he wants to save some mystery for the big day. Ultrasound estimated his weight to be 3lb 7oz at 30 weeks, so he's a big boy :) and everything looks great. Now, we patiently wait.

With just under 6 weeks left, I'm busy with getting everything where it needs to be for his arrival. It's been a long time since there has been a baby in our family and

I'm kinda nervous.

On the pumping front, I am now up to 2-4oz a day-most days, sometimes it's less, but I'm hopeful that my supply will increase soon. I have 44oz in the freezer and am so looking forward to nursing.

Here are a couple pictures Dawn and I took a couple of weeks ago, at 30 weeks:

Isn't she just the cutest? :)

Abram's 3D

We attempted a 3D/4D ultrasound. Just as I feared, Abram was not very cooperative. He has his head buried in Dawn's right hip, his hands up at his face, and his umbilical cord in his face and all around. We go back this Friday to try again at some better pictures. Here is the one good one we got. You can see his sweet face and his cord up at his neck (not sure if it's around his neck, but it's not tight, thankfully. We'll be talking to the doctor about it.)

We go on the 12th for a growth scan and to get all the paperwork at the hospital done. Then, we have an appointment on the 14th to go over it all. Dawn is consistently measuring a week ahead and even the ultrasound tech at the 3D/4D place commented on how small Dawn is, but how big Abram is. It's clear he's already got chubby arms, cheeks, and tummy. So, we're eager to see what the growth scan shows and what they say about the cord.

As for inducing lactation, it's going well. I'm making about an ounce a day now. It may not seem like much, but to me, it's incredible! I've got 8 weeks to build up my supply and so far, I'm impressed with my body.

I cannot wait to meet my little boy! (I bet you knew that :)

Busy With Great Things

The above is a picture of Dawn (l), Rachel (r), and me (center) at the baby shower they threw for me last weekend. It was wonderful. Not only did we get lots of things we needed (it's been 8 long years since we've had a baby and had zero, zilch, nada), it was also a wonderful time of fellowship. I am forever grateful for all their hard work-plus, Kelly, who was sick :( It is such a great feeling to know that people like you enough to do something like this for you!

Also, I've been pumping for 11 days now. I pump every 2 hours during the day and every 3 hours at night. So, needless to say, I'm exhausted. I know it will be worth it and I cannot wait to breastfeed my sweet baby boy in 9 short weeks, but this is hard work!

We have a 3D/4D ultrasound this Saturday. I'll be sure to post lots of pictures. Until then...

An Open Letter to Abram

Dear Abram: my sweet, sweet boy,

We are knocking on the door of 27 weeks pregnant. I have been struggling these past couple of weeks. Struggling with how to put into words all I am feeling at this time and what you mean to me. Everyday we're closer to holding you and kissing that sweet head of yours...it's unbelievable. The fact that I could love you, with every fiber of my being, having never touched you or even felt you move inside of me, is mind blowing. You, before you were even conceived, were loved and ours. The whole thing is something that is difficult for anyone who hasn't been here to understand.

Some days it gets to me- the fact that I don't know you. I wish it were possible for me to know your in utero personality, to feel you kick from the inside, to know that you know me, but it's not. And, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the second best thing to that, is living it through your Aunt Dawn. She tells me all about you and how you love to wiggle inside, how you don't let her sleep at night, and how she already knows you are the sweetest baby there is :) God brought us the absolutely perfect person to bring you into this world. She has helped me through this in ways that no one, but her, to a certain point, and I will ever "get" and she loves you so much! I am so thankful that I can sit back and trust that she is taking care of you in just the way I would, if it were me.

As we count down the days, your brother and sister wait so eagerly for you! They are overjoyed with having a new baby brother and I know they will cherish you. I cannot wait for the moment I get to introduce you to them!

The longing I feel is really indescribable. I dream of you every night, and have for 3+ years. I ponder what you'll be like, what you'll look like, what you'll smell like. I cannot wait for it all to become reality and I want to cherish every second. I know now that parenting is not about just getting by, one day at a time. It is about enjoying your child and recognizing what a privilege it is to watch them grow. I plan on doing that with you. So, until we meet in 75 short, but so long, days, I'll see you in my dreams and watch and feel your Aunt Dawn's tummy move every chance I get. I love you dear boy!

Your Mom

Doing Much Better...

Well, it seems that I finally beat the infection! WHOO!! HOO!! I'm feeling much better and have even gotten back on the low carb wagon. I have two weeks, from today, until I start my pumping regimen for inducing lactation and I'm hoping to be to my goal weight by then (no dieting while nursing for me).

Yep, I don't know if I have mentioned it before, but I am going to breastfeed. During the three years I longed for another child, in every dream I had of him, I was nursing. I did not even know if it was possible so, when we decided to go forward with surrogacy, I began to research. I am on a drug regimen of hormones, vitamins, and a digestive drug whose side effect is production of prolactin (one of the hormones that stimulates milk production for which they do not make a synthetic form). Two weeks from today, I will stop the hormones and replace them with two different herbs, and begin pumping. The idea is to have my supply built up enough that when the baby arrives, I am able to exclusively nurse. I am so hopeful that will be the case and I really can't wait! Pumping will be hard, especially since I'll be pumping at least once during the night, but I know it will be worth it. I'll keep you posted :)

Rolling Along...

Things have just kinda been here. We enjoyed our second honeymoon and returned to real life at a pretty fast pace. I came down with a mysterious bacteria while we were gone and have been fighting it ever since (3 weeks!). We think I'm finally on the mend, but it has taken a lot out of me.

The kids went back to school this past Monday and so far, so good. I can't believe that we already have a 3rd and a 4th grader!

We've also been working on the nursery :) It's work, but fun work. Aubrey has moved into her new bedroom- the old guest room- and her old room has become Abram's room. We're almost done and it feels good and real.

Dawn is doing well and Abram is a healthy, active 24 weeks on Saturday! Viability!!! This is a huge milestone. I fully expect him to be born a completely healthy full term baby, but it's wonderful to know that if something unexpected happened at this point, he could live outside the womb.

That's about all for now. I'm off to the doctor for the second time this week and hoping there is light at the end of the tunnel for this infection!

Time to Celebrate

Ten years ago this Thursday, Brandon and I walked into a church and entered into a covenant- between God, myself, and him. We met September 4, 1998 at a Sulphur High football game. I had graduated from high school the May prior and he had recently moved to Sulphur to start his career as a Chemical Engineer. He was invited by a man at work to the game and I had gone with a friend. Brandon happened to be sitting with a guy I graduated with and we sat near them to visit. I instantly was smitten :) Him, notsomuch. I decided not to let him get away. I pursued him until he gave in. By mid-June, we realized we were going to be together forever, so why wait!? We married six weeks later and haven't looked back. That wonderful day, we were surrounded by our closest friends and family and promised to love one another forever. We decided to write our own vows. Brandon, ever the musician, sat at a grand piano in the front of the church and sang his to me. The line that stuck out was when he promised to give his life for me as Christ gave His life for the Church. Then, I stood in front of him, index card in hand, and read my vows to him. I found them the other day in a box of pictures...tear stained and all. Here is what it said...

Brandon-

From the first day we met at that Friday night football game, I felt in my heart that this day would come. You were the one who needed convincing. I had prayed for that special someone from the time I knew what that meant. Something happened to me when I saw you. I knew that I would regret it for the rest of my life if I let you get away. I know everyone laughs when I say God was steering my car that Monday when I went by your house, but I truly believe that. Now, I stand before some of the most important people in our lives and promise to love until the God who unites us, separates us. This is the most important promise I have ever made and I will keep it. Through the good and the bad, there is not a single part of me that doubts that. There is no one I would rather make this covenant with. I pray we will have a marriage other people will respect. There was once a time when the only thing that made me believe that love existed were the songs on the radio. Those days are over, my prayers have been answered, and one day our children will know love exists because of our model. They will look at us and pray that one day they will have a love like their mom and dad. I love you!

I'm happy to say that I still feel that way, ten years later. Brandon, thank you for everything you are to me and our children. You are a man of God, a husband people envy, and a father that your children will speak highly of. I love you more than anything in this world, even more today than ten years ago. You are my world.

We're off to enjoy a second honeymoon. Be back next week :)