FAQs

I've been getting lots of questions and although I always send an answer back to the person who asked, I felt it may be a good idea to answer them here too. If one (or five) people are willing to message me these, then I figure they must be on lots of people's minds.

• How did you and Ivy meet?

I am a member of a small, private, email based, support group for surrogacy in Texas/Oklahoma. I joined this group in November 2008 when Dawn and I were just beginning our journey to bring Abram into the world. Ivy joined late December 2008 when she was just entering the world of surrogacy herself. At some point, we became facebook friends too. By the time we officially "matched" in May/June 2012, we felt like we had known each other forever even though we had never met. We finally met in August 2012 at our first transfer. What we had known from email/facebook/text/phone was instantly true in person...the two of us are meant to be lifelong friends. We had more fun than should be allowed. Lots of people even say we look alike. I love this lady!

                                                                            Me and Ivy

• It's your egg and Bradon's sperm right? Ivy is the carrier?

Yes, yes, yes. Trust me, with what my body has been feeling for weeks now, if they didn't take eggs from me we are gonna have a giant problem ;) In all seriousness, just like Abram (and his non-surrogate carried brother and sister before him), the baby or babies coming from this will be 100% biologically Brandon and mine's. Ivy has been wonderful enough, just like Dawn, to open her uterus to us...hahahaha! Seriously though, she has been on hormones for weeks now preparing her body to not only accept a pregnancy but one that is not her genetic material. It's a big deal. Once pregnancy is achieved, she will continue hormones to maintain the pregnancy through the first trimester. Then, she will love and care for our little one(s) until they are ready to make their big entrance to the world. Then, she'll be bombarded with pictures and thank yous until it makes her sick, just ask Dawn ;)

• What is a beta?

Awwwww, if you are asking this, you have obviously never been through the crazy world of infertility. This one is fun! Two weeks from egg retrieval (this time is commonly called the "two week wait"), Ivy will have a blood test to confirm pregnancy. You can think of egg retrieval as ovulation in the natural pregnancy realms. 14 days past ovulation is a typical marking point for pregnancy. We will know by then whether Ivy is pregnant or not because home pregnancy tests (hpts) will have told us, but we won't know how pregnant. That's where beta numbers come in. They are a quantitative marker for the amount of hcg in her bloodstream. Truthfully, they tell you you are pregnant or not, but in the world of surrogacy we obsess over them...day and night. A small number can mean a chemical pregnancy-a pregnancy that attempted to start but never developed. A large number can mean multiples. Since we will transfer two and won't have an ultrasound until 7 weeks pregnant, obsessing over the number helps pass the time ;) They will repeat them every 48 hours for a week or so. They need to double every 48 hours to indicate a healthy pregnancy. This is the most important thing!

• If you guys still have lots of embryos left on Saturday, what will happen to them?

First, we will transfer the two absolute best into Ivy's waiting uterus. We have three options with any remaining embryos 1) dispose of them, 2) freeze them and anonymously donate them to another couple, 3) freeze them to use for ourselves later. The only suitable option for us is to freeze them for ourselves. Brandon calls this the we're-gonna-need-more-surrogates option ;) We know that if we have embryos to freeze Saturday, God will provide a way to give them a chance at life. Our previous cycles, I absolutely made myself crazy playing the number game...if we have left over embryos, what happens? will we have a willing surrogate? what if we don't want more children and we have extra embryos? And, amazingly, we never had any embryos left. This time, I have felt such peace about it. That if God preserves any embryos for us, not only will He provide a carrier for them, He will also put the desire and longing in our hearts to have those children come to life. Truthfully, I kinda chalked this up to our track record of never having any and deciding not to worry unnecessarily. Now, with 9 little ones growing, I know that this is true peace that God has placed in my heart and I am so thankful.


If there is anything I haven't answered or you just have a question, please write me. I am more than willing to share and, in most cases, I bet you aren't the only one wondering.