Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Busy With Great Things

The above is a picture of Dawn (l), Rachel (r), and me (center) at the baby shower they threw for me last weekend. It was wonderful. Not only did we get lots of things we needed (it's been 8 long years since we've had a baby and had zero, zilch, nada), it was also a wonderful time of fellowship. I am forever grateful for all their hard work-plus, Kelly, who was sick :( It is such a great feeling to know that people like you enough to do something like this for you!

Also, I've been pumping for 11 days now. I pump every 2 hours during the day and every 3 hours at night. So, needless to say, I'm exhausted. I know it will be worth it and I cannot wait to breastfeed my sweet baby boy in 9 short weeks, but this is hard work!

We have a 3D/4D ultrasound this Saturday. I'll be sure to post lots of pictures. Until then...

Thursday, September 17, 2009

An Open Letter to Abram

Dear Abram: my sweet, sweet boy,
We are knocking on the door of 27 weeks pregnant. I have been struggling these past couple of weeks. Struggling with how to put into words all I am feeling at this time and what you mean to me. Everyday we're closer to holding you and kissing that sweet head of's unbelievable. The fact that I could love you, with every fiber of my being, having never touched you or even felt you move inside of me, is mind blowing. You, before you were even conceived, were loved and ours. The whole thing is something that is difficult for anyone who hasn't been here to understand.

Some days it gets to me- the fact that I don't know you. I wish it were possible for me to know your in utero personality, to feel you kick from the inside, to know that you know me, but it's not. And, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the second best thing to that, is living it through your Aunt Dawn. She tells me all about you and how you love to wiggle inside, how you don't let her sleep at night, and how she already knows you are the sweetest baby there is :) God brought us the absolutely perfect person to bring you into this world. She has helped me through this in ways that no one, but her, to a certain point, and I will ever "get" and she loves you so much! I am so thankful that I can sit back and trust that she is taking care of you in just the way I would, if it were me.

As we count down the days, your brother and sister wait so eagerly for you! They are overjoyed with having a new baby brother and I know they will cherish you. I cannot wait for the moment I get to introduce you to them!

The longing I feel is really indescribable. I dream of you every night, and have for 3+ years. I ponder what you'll be like, what you'll look like, what you'll smell like. I cannot wait for it all to become reality and I want to cherish every second. I know now that parenting is not about just getting by, one day at a time. It is about enjoying your child and recognizing what a privilege it is to watch them grow. I plan on doing that with you. So, until we meet in 75 short, but so long, days, I'll see you in my dreams and watch and feel your Aunt Dawn's tummy move every chance I get. I love you dear boy!

Your Mom

Friday, September 4, 2009

Doing Much Better...

Well, it seems that I finally beat the infection! WHOO!! HOO!! I'm feeling much better and have even gotten back on the low carb wagon. I have two weeks, from today, until I start my pumping regimen for inducing lactation and I'm hoping to be to my goal weight by then (no dieting while nursing for me).

Yep, I don't know if I have mentioned it before, but I am going to breastfeed. During the three years I longed for another child, in every dream I had of him, I was nursing. I did not even know if it was possible so, when we decided to go forward with surrogacy, I began to research. I am on a drug regimen of hormones, vitamins, and a digestive drug whose side effect is production of prolactin (one of the hormones that stimulates milk production for which they do not make a synthetic form). Two weeks from today, I will stop the hormones and replace them with two different herbs, and begin pumping. The idea is to have my supply built up enough that when the baby arrives, I am able to exclusively nurse. I am so hopeful that will be the case and I really can't wait! Pumping will be hard, especially since I'll be pumping at least once during the night, but I know it will be worth it. I'll keep you posted :)